OMG WEEKEND YAY. Let’s complain about …
NOT about the song, obviously — it’s a masterpiece (tho Golden Years is still my fave) that merits no criticism. No, I’m talking about two other ch-ch-changes :
OG Bliss Body Butter. It’s been around since … at least the mid 1990s, because that’s how long I’ve been using it. Expensive? YEP. For body lotion, anyway. But you can often find it seriously marked down from its usual appx $30/6.7oz price (here it is on Kohl’s for $14.50) and regardless, it’s WORTH it. So rich, ulllltra moisturizing, but never heavy or waxy or greasy or sticky. It’s been my go-to — particularly for feet — for literally decades. But I was poking around on Target.com recently, and saw it in new packaging for TEN BUCKS! WHAAAAT! “Oh, they’ve done some kind of rebrand and seriously adjusted their price points in this super-saturated market! Yay!”
But as it turns out? They also significantly changed the formula. BOOOOOO.
OG Version : Water, Cocos Nucifera (Coconut) Oil, Ethylhexyl Palmitate, Glycine Soja (Soybean) Oil, Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea) Butter, Glyceryl Stearate, Dimethicone, Stearic Acid, Isopropyl Myristate, Cetyl Alcohol, PEG-40 Stearate, Trimethylolpropane Triisostearate, Sorbitan Tristearate, Phenoxyethanol, Retinyl Palmitate, Tocopherol, Butylene Glycol, Triethanolamine, Caprylyl Glycol, Algae Extract, Tetrasodium EDTA, Carbomer, Ethyl Acetate, Cyclohexane, Arnica Montana Flower Extract, Calluna Vulgaris Extract, Propylene Glycol, Sodium Hyaluronate, Citral, Limonene.
New Version : Water (Aqua) (Eau), Isopropyl Myristate, Stearic Acid, Dimethicone, Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea) Butter, Cetyl Alcohol, Trimethylolpropane Triisostearate, Cocos Nucifera (Coconut) Oil, Glycine Soja (Soybean) Oil, Laminaria Digitata Extract, Euphorbia Cerifera (Candelilla) Wax (Candelilla Cera) (Cire De Candelilla), Glycerin, Ammonium Acryloyldimethyltaurate/VP Copolymer, Glyceryl Stearate, PEG-100 Stearate, Ethylhexyl Palmitate, Cetearyl Ethylhexanoate, Tocopherol, Tocopheryl Acetate, Butylene Glycol, Disodium EDTA, PEG-40 Stearate, Sorbitan Tristearate, Phenoxyethanol, Potassium Sorbate, Potassium Benzoate, Sodium Hydroxide, Caprylyl Glycol, Carbomer, Citric Acid, Arnica Montana Flower Extract, Calluna Vulgaris Extract, Sodium Hyaluronate, Limonene, Linalool, Citral, Fragrance (Parfum).
Many of the reviews I’m seeing (including on Ulta, where it’s $12, as it is on Bliss’s own site) note that “whoa, this is NOT the same as the original, and it’s definitely not as good.” I’ve tossed a tube of it in my Target cart — I mean, it’s ten bucks, so it’s not a huge deal if I hate it — so WE SHALL SEE, grumble.
Also, another recent rebrand / facelift that I’ve had on my mind for a lil while : Acure scrapped their wave-ish swirly motif for a simpler … chrysanthemum/starburst kinda deal? And while they apparently have not changed any of their product formulations, they have renamed everything :
One thing I appreciated about OG Acure : their straightforward descriptive no-bullshit names. Brightening Facial Scrub. Oil Control Facial Moisturizer. Sensitive Facial Cleanser. But now, for some unfathomable reason — especially considering the rise of no-frills straight-up “sciencey” brands like The Ordinary — they have given everything a cutesy precious twee new name — most of which are alliterative, ugh — and to be honest I effing hate it. Brilliantly Brightening! Seriously Soothing! Radically Rejuvenating!
Purplesaurus Rex! This is giving me MAJOR cognitive dissonance : is it legit serious skincare for people who read ingredients labels, or is it bullshit ~precious~ stuff for people who just buy cute things with adorable names and non-threatening marketing? This seems like a suuuuuper dated (like, early 90s Bliss and Benefit) strategy, and I’m curious as to how their market research led them down this preposterous road. Anyway, I do not approve of this change, and months later I’m still annoyed about it, grumble.
IN SALAD NEWS, THERE IS NO SALAD NEWS. “Omg whaaaaat.” Okay I did make a salad on Tuesday, and while it was rill rill good, it was also kinda boring AND we were in a hurry so I didn’t take pics of it. But if you MUST know, it was kinda an old-skool “chopped salad” with some edits : finely chopped romaine and iceberg, alfalfa sprouts, thin-sliced celery, chick peas, chopped turkey, chicken, swiss cheese, and avocado, and topped with an oil and vinegar / salt and pepper dressing with a shot of dijon. Honestly, it was pretty fab, and is also something you can easily throw together with nice cold cuts and cheeses you’d otherwise have around for sandwiches. BUT IN OTHER (BETTER) FOOD NEWS, Mycologie is back with another recipe! Which, in dependably Mycologie tradition, sounds FANTASTIC and is def something I’m gonna make. <3
Green Sauce to Put on Literally Everything
What is this sauce, even? I suppose it’s a modified version of chimichurri but it doesn’t really feel right to call it that since it’s far from any traditional chimichurri I’ve had. In my house, we just call it “green sauce”. I started making this to put on roasted sweet potatoes. I like sweet potatoes well enough but I absolutely adore them when their one-note sweetness is balanced by something tart and green and bright-tasting.
INGREDIENTS: one or two bunches of parsley, two or three scallions, olive oil, salt, 1-2 limes, ½ – 1 avocado, one small clove of garlic (use one! small! clove! I love garlic and aside from here never use one clove at a time but it can quickly overpower the rest of the flavors).
I make this now in a food processor but you can definitely chop it by hand if you don’t have one (or are too lazy to haul it out, because it’s in the dining room a whole seven feet away from the kitchen like in my house).
De-stem your parsley (either pick all the leaves off or the lazy method is to just cut the stems off below the leaves), cut up a lime into squeezable pieces, roughly chop your scallions, open up your avocado and peel your clove of garlic. Put the parsley and about a third of a cup of olive oil into the food processor and let it run until things look pretty blended. Add the garlic and avocado and a big pinch of salt and squeeze in the lime juice. Blend it again and taste it. If it needs more lime or salt add it until it tastes as salty and/or acidic as you like. The consistency should be like a thick creamy salad dressing. Add more oil if necessary, add more avocado if you want it thicker and creamier. If it doesn’t taste garlicky enough…I hesitate to recommend putting in more garlic because the garlic flavor will really develop the longer this sits and I find that extra garlic turns this into …a garlic sauce with a hint of lime.
If you’re doing this by hand, chop everything as fine as you can, whisk it in a large bowl, season it with the salt and lime and whisk it again. It won’t be quite as emulsified but it will still taste awesome.
I always make (at least) a double batch of this. It doesn’t last very long in the fridge (maybe 1-2 days), but it’s perfect for the freeze-in-an-ice-cube-tray method. I freeze it in the tray for a few hours (I have the silicone kind that makes very large square cubes for cocktails), then transfer it to a container in my freezer so that I always always always have some on hand. About an hour or so before you’re ready to use it, pull out a cube or two and thaw at room temperature. DON’T thaw it with heat of any kind because that will cook it and fundamentally change the flavors. (Or do that. But be warned that it changes the flavor.) Sometimes I jazz up a thawed batch with a little more fresh lime if I’m feeling extra sassy, but generally the flavor preserves perfectly.
Another new twist I added recently is to add some buttermilk or Greek yogurt for a more tangy, green goddess-type of flavor.
Put this on everything you can: roasted or grilled sweet potatoes ESPECIALLY, any grilled or roasted veg, chicken, fish, lamb sausage, grain bowls, and oh my god it is SO GOOD on a garlicky, grilled skirt steak.
YOUR WEEKEND. TELL ME ABOUT IT. I’m gonna try my hand at a grilled sandwich thing tomorrow, so I’ll let you know how that goes, amazing/delicious or Hilarious Failure. <3