OOTRT : April 12

Today’s OOTRT highlights a very important issue :

POCKETSES. LOOK AT THESE POCKETSES. My whole damn hand is in there up to the wrist, my fingers are splayed out as wide as they’ll go, and I’m STILL not taking up all the available space.

“Where did you get these amazing magical shorts that’re kinda unflattering but remain amazing and magical because of their fabulous pocketses?” you ask. The answer is that they are from LandsEnd … specifically, from the MEN’S DEPARTMENT because GENDERED BULLSHIT and PATRIARCHY. I think their women’s shorts actually have non-miniscule pockets, but they’re also pretty much all cut like Mom Jeans, aka the waist hits right under your ribcage, the back is all baggy, and the front pooches out when you move to any position but “perfectly vertical and completely still.” Maybe they’ve improved, but when I ordered some of their women’s chino shorts and pants a couple years ago? They alllll got returned.

Anyway, these are too big and they slide down when I walk if I put my phone in my pocket, and the color is solidly within the “what was I thinking” range (this “tobacco” shade of khaki makes my legs look even pastier and pinker than they normally do, which is very), and I don’t even care because POCKETSES.

Also there’s a Japandroids tee (man I love that band), some of my fave studded fake Converse (Primadonna, from Yoox), a Ralston parachute bag in diamond-stitched silver metallic leather which I LOVE even tho its pocketses aren’t the greatest. And I gave myself a gnaaarly shaving cut right on in the middle of my shin, so there is also a pirate bandaid because why not? I mean it matches the shirt, so.