If you’re like me (which I hope for your sake you are not), you’re kinda over the “let’s put a bizarre and probably unhealthy thing on our face for lols/fame” spiel. This week we have more ugh, whyyy from Buzzfeed, wherein a doofus puts vag cream — and the wrong vag cream — on her face even after asking a dermatologist who says “girl no this is a bad idea.” I mean …

“The main ingredient, hydrocortisone, [Dr. Day] explains, ‘if used incorrectly it can cause redness, thinning of the skin and increased risk of infection.’ As for the dimethicone, ‘it’s readily available in many products including primers that are designed to be primers.’

Aware of the risks, I decided to still give it a go.”

Man you can practically hear that derm trying not to roll her eyes. Yes okay fine, apparently the Monistat Anti-Chafing Powder Gel is just a tube of silicones, and is a close-ish dupe for a Smashbox primer — this has been going around for a couple years now. It’s not something I’ve paid particular attention to, because we know how I feel about silicones/cyclomethicones on my face, but even I knew that the product in question was not a freaking anti-itch cream. LET’S NOT DO THIS.

In better news, Target just started carrying eight new beauty brands! The Lip Bar, HALEYS Beauty, Everyhue, Hue Noir, Reina Rebelde, ColouredRaine, Violet Voss, and MAKEUP GEEK! Offerings are — so far, at least — fairly limited, at least for the brands I was already familiar with. For instance, you won’t find MUG’s massive collection of eyeshadows … yet? Here’s hoping that changes!

And also, WOO! Mycologie has graced us with another spectacular recipe, and hoo boy I am definitely doing this one. Our excellent local taco place is now apparently dead (after being open a mere seven months, wth?) so we’re gonna have to DIY it when we want Fabulous Non-Standard genre fare.

Roasted Cauliflower and Black Bean Tacos

A few years ago, I started seeing sweet potato and black bean taco recipes popping up on every food website. Being picky about how I like my sweet potatoes, I passed the recipe up, thinking the combo sounded unappealing. A few weeks ago, the recipe was finally so firmly lodged in my psyche that I tried it out. It was, as I predicted, unappealing. The sweet potatoes, at least for me, were too sweet even with lots of lime. It wasn’t, like, terrible, and I’m always looking to expand my vegetarian cooking repertoire so I didn’t want to give up on it totally. Last week, I swapped out the sweet potatoes for cauliflower and was much happier with the result.

First, get your cauliflower into the oven because it will take the longest. Preheat your oven to 380F. Add a film of veg oil to a baking sheet. Chop a small head of cauliflower into approximately bite size pieces and lay them on the baking sheet. I left my cauliflower pretty plain with just salt, pepper and a little garlic powder, but any combo of spices that suit you would work fine. Cook for 15-17 minutes until it’s browned and crisp on one side, then flip the pieces and put them back into the oven for another 10-15 minutes so they can brown on the other side. If you’re lazy like I definitely NEVER EVER am, you can skip the flipping and just leave the cauliflower in about 10 minutes longer. Just keep an eye on it every so often so it doesn’t burn.

While the cauliflower cooks (I usually do this in the second half of the cauliflower roasting time), prep your beans and taco toppings. I make a sorta re-fried black beans type thing, but you can prep them however you like. Drain a can of black beans and add them to a pan with a bit of oil, a little water (or some of the liquid they were in) and three or four chopped cloves of garlic. For two people I actually only use about half a can of beans, but make as much as you want. Cook them for a few minutes until they take on lots of garlic flavor and get mushy. Smush them up with a spoon. If you don’t feel like doing all that, just mash up some beans right out of the can. I find the smashed beans make a nice base that sticks down the cauliflower in the taco so less falls out when you bite into it.

Get whatever other toppings ready that you like. On mine, I did quick-pickled onions (admittedly began those earlier in the day) and an avocado, tomato and lime salsa.

If you want, you can char corn tortillas directly on the burners of your stove (although I have no idea if this works for electric stoves). It only takes a few seconds per side and can, like, burst into flames, so this is not the time to walk away.

When the cauliflower is roasted to your desired level, assemble your tacos: take a tortilla and spread some of the black beans on and give it a big spritz of lime. Pile on some cauliflower and your toppings. I like to finish it with another squirt of lime and some hot sauce.

GLORIOUS, and now I’m starving. Oh, and an Obligatory Salad Post : 

That’s romaine and alfalfa sprouts, topped with celery sliced thinly on the bias, a few slices of cucumber-chive chevre, avocado, and a chicken breast briefly marinated in olive oil, soy sauce, and Cavender’s Greek Seasoning which doesn’t read as “Greek” to me really, but has a lot of personality. Let it sit a bit in its marinade, then throw it in the oven, a skillet, or (as I did) on a Foreman grill-type thing (this one is actually a Breville, but same diff). The dressing (not pictured bc the photo without it was prettier) is closely related to the marinade : olive oil, soy sauce, lemon juice, a little brown sugar, Cavender’s, and a splort of this stuff, which is now officially my fave salad dressing additive because it adds some nice complex-yet-mild flavor, and the texture helps your oils and acids stay in suspension better.

AND FINALLY … ALAS I haven’t been able to get video of Chuck doing his Very Bad Turkey Impression, but …

BIG PLANS this weekend? Share! Or complain about something! Or whatever! <3