Listen I am not a “seasonal dressing” person. I mean weather-appropriate stuff, yes. But I do not wear green on St Patrick’s Day, I do not wear red on Christmas or pastels for Easter or flag stuff on 4OJ etc etc. BECAUSE I AM A KILLJOY AND A RUINER OF FUN.
Okay fine whatever, I totally wore shoes with hearts on them for Valentine’s Day yesterday. I SWEAR TO GOD I had just thrown on the shorts + tee-over-tank combo, went to the closet for shoes, and was all “ooo, yeah, let’s mix our graphic black-and-white patterns.” And then “oh hey, hearts. It’s Valentine’s Day. [considers changing shoes out of sheer contrariness, capitulates because no other outfit-suitable black-and-white shoes presented themselves and I was really married — hur — to that concept now].”
The shoes are … wait, I forgot, lemme go to the closet. [scurrying noises] They’re Alice & Olivia from a few years back, and I bought them bc “black and white yes pls” and also because they’re haircalf/hairhide, which I love almost as much as the clothes moths do. (WHEN WILL I LEARN to store that stuff in its dustbags? All of them have little chewed/bald areas. :| ) But the best thing about this outfit is the tee (from Old Navy, SWANK) because I enjoy how when you deliberately ruche/rumple a boldly striped top, it makes it look as though your torso is melting like a cheap candle.
FASHION, TURN TO THE LEFT. FASHION, TURN TO THE RIGHT OOOOOOO.