LOTRT : January 22

So today’s makeup look started out with Artistic Ambitions … and quickly took a turn for the, uh, disastrous. But I rescued it! I did! However, WARNING : one possibly mildly-upsetting photo ahead.

“I’ma do a squiggly free-hand drawn-on eyeliner look. YEAH! Hm, which liner to use? You know, I keep ignoring this NYX Epic Ink thing, because it’s so runny and it feathers (sometimes even over primer). Maybe I should give it another go.”

And with the very first line, that shit ran alllllllll into my eye. I mean, not just “oops I got a little in the corner there.” I mean like the X-Files “Black Oil” shit. :(

Dude, I don’t even fucking know. Just … sigh.

So I tried to rinse it out with saline. (Yes, I had already done my foundation, naturally.)

Awesome, that’s a huge improvement. (Not.)

If you think those are horrifying after being converted to black and white … you’re welcome.

ANYWAY. I cleaned up the nasty mess all over my face, and at this point I was pretty pissed. So in my continuing fit of pique, I literally just took that stupid Epic Ink and made blots all over my eyelids, like so :

As noted, Epic Ink runs and flows and smears like a mofo at the slightest suggestion of moisture (at least until it fully sets). But I figured that also meant I could blorp some on, hit it with setting spray, and blot-smear it around a little for a possibly interesting effect, or possibly just an entertaining disaster. YOU BE THE JUDGE.

Vaguely Rorschach-eque, n’est pas? For even MORE fun, pat over the whole area with a sheer shimmer thing. I used ColourPop’s Super Shock highlighter in “Over The Moon,” since it’s just violety shimmer/microglitter and almost no actual “pigment” to muddy or diffuse the black.

WOW that actually ended up being kinda fun! It also renders mascara almost pointless, at least on upper lashes. I hit my lower lashline with a little matte taupe shadow for definition — okay mostly because my whole lower lid was pink from scrubbing off the fucking liner disaster.

Add some brow fill, some violet-y blush (I used NARS in “Mata Hari”) and equally violet-y highlighter (Looxi in “Ever After”) and a dramatic lipstick (YSL Rouge Pur Couture matte in 205 “Prune Virgin” which I don’t actually use much, because it doesn’t perform/wear nearly as well for me as the 206 “Grenat Satisfaction” does), then tie a scarf around your misbehaving hair and all of a sudden you’ve got some kind of retro-boho thing happening. Optional : scream like you’re about to be tied to some train tracks in a silent movie :

Probably I’m actually screaming/fleeing in terror from the mysteriously convoluted set of switches on the wall behind me, some of which don’t even have switches installed in the holes (wtf?) and one of which just has a solid plate over it (double wtf?).